


Coming Undone

by skaoi



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Burning, Chloe has a potty mouth, Chloe's pissed, Claustrophobia, F/M, Lucifer finds a new way to try to get rid of his wings, Maybe - Freeform, Really really sorry, Self-Harm, She's so fucking DONE, Suicide Attempt, This Hurts Not Gonna Lie, so freaking pissed, so much ptsd, sorry - Freeform, suicide by cop, tagging to be sure, traumatic reveal, yeah-his cop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-23 14:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12509628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaoi/pseuds/skaoi
Summary: “You’re in love with me, dumbass,” Chloe growls.He nods and looks down again, “I....believe that may be the case, yes.  But...”She shakes her head, sending tears sideways into her hair, “No but.  That’s it.”Lucifer frowns, “YES, but, Detective.  We...you...have been manipulated into feeling these things.  They can’t be...”Blonde eyebrows go up in angry surprise, “Real?”  He nods as she continues.  “You’re a fucking idiot who knows shit about human emotions, Lucifer.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElenaCee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenaCee/gifts), [flutterflap](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutterflap/gifts).



> Title from Korn.
> 
> With many thanks to Flutterflap for the beta and ElenaCee for the inspiration, let me take a moment to apologize for what I'm about to do to you.
> 
> Please let me know if you think I over-tagged. We all know it's just a matter of time before he tries it again, but I just wanted to be careful.

Lucifer lounges on his balcony, his face long and morose as he contemplates the stars he hung in the sky aeons ago.  Long, elegant fingers bring his cigarette to his lips and he takes a drag, slowly releasing the smoke into the night.

 

His back itches and he growls in frustration.  He sits forward in his seat and reaches for the demon dagger but since he wasn’t looking directly at the table, his hand lands on his cigarette lighter instead.

 

Dark eyebrows go up and a small, dark smile crosses his face.   _ Maybe if I burn them off, they’ll stay gone... _

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Chloe looks around before approaching the metal door to make sure she isn’t being followed.  The sensation has been haunting her for over a week but there’s so far been no obvious reason for it.  

****

Her breath frosts in the night air as she hefts her flashlight in one hand and a crowbar in the other.  Rust covers half the door while thorny vines obscure the other.  A shiver slides down her spine that has nothing to do with the seasonal chill.

****

_ There are Prohibition tunnels running all under here _ , he’d said.   _ Howard Hughes used them... _

****

A bit of research over the past few days helped her locate an entrance to one such tunnel that likely lead directly under Lux.  Her quarry stopped answering his phone days ago.  Lux is locked up tight, but surveillance still placed Lucifer at home as recently as this morning.  A bit more of a challenge to see at night, as he’s taken to leaving his lights off, but her eyes on the building tell her no one has come in or gone out in the past 72 hours.  The iconic building seems almost supernaturally dark and volunteers to storm the fortress are non-existent.

****

Maze is away and Amenadiel said he’s trying not to intrude.  “When my brother emerges, I’ll be here for him.  Until then, the only thing that will come from me trying to help will be to drive him farther away.”  

****

Chloe recalls the hot, angry flush in her face as the dark man’s velvet voice washed over her.  “I can’t just....leave him...like that, Amenadiel.  He’s....he’s...,” her voice cracked as she stalked away.

****

_ If his own damned family can’t be bothered, I’ll do it myself _ , she growled to herself. 

****

She raises the crowbar and pries the heavy door open.  It gives with a metallic groan and she raises her flashlight.  After stepping into the gaping black maw, she turns to drag the door closed behind her, gritting her teeth at the awful sound.  Chloe pauses a long moment and looks around.

****

All she sees before her is a brick-lined tunnel.  As far as she can see in the beam of her flashlight, there’s nothing but cobwebs and dust.  It’s wide enough for three people to walk side-by-side and the floor is packed dirt.  There are, apparently, no lights.  The detective quietly sets the crowbar down and draws her service pistol.  From her pocket, she withdraws a small compass and takes a moment to orient herself toward Lux, to the Northeast of her current position.

****

She listens for signs of habitation and hears nothing but the occasional car on the road above.  Flashlight and gun trained in front of her, she carefully picks her way through the darkness.

****

She continues for a bit, imagining it’s been an hour or so and cursing herself for not wearing a watch.  She’s lost track of the number of turns she’s taken in order to continue in what she thinks is the right direction.  Morbidly thinking of Hansel and Gretel and wishing she’d brought breadcrumbs, she shuffles along in the dark.

****

Chloe has seen no doors to this point and is almost ready to turn around and try to make her way back to the Southwest when she hear a soft noise beyond the light of her flashlight.

****

Chloe sucks in a sharp breath, holds it,  _ Smoke? _  After a long moment of nothing happening, she slowly lets the breath out, casting about while training her gun along the beam of her flashlight.   _ Probably just a rat _ , she imagines and turns back in the direction she came.

****

Suddenly, a very large, very warm presence is at her back.

****

“Aren’t we the sneaky detective?” he purrs as he presses close. 

****

The detective jumps and nearly drops her gun.

****

Lucifer’s warm breath strokes her ear and she can’t resist her shuddering response before going still.  The smell of smoke is stronger now,  _ That’s not cigarettes or pot.   _ She feels him reach around her and sees his hand take the flashlight from her shaking hand.  With a flick, pitch blackness descends and she hears it land in the dirt a few feet away.

****

“Lucifer?” she asks softly.

****

He is still at her back, breathing softly on her neck, “What brings you here, hmmmm?” he asks quietly.  “Why do you bother?”

****

In spite of his warmth, she feels a chill,  “Worried about you,” she replies around the lump in her throat as she moves to turn around.

****

“Do  _ not _ ,” he commands.  

****

His tone brooks no argument and she nods, “Okay, fine.  We can talk like this if that’s what you need.”

****

He scoffs, “Because what I want has ever mattered.”  He presses against her, “What I  _ need _ , Chloe, is for you to leave me in peace.  Stop...” he hisses, “...haunting me.”  

****

Lucifer nuzzles her and inhales slowly. “Go back to your Lieutenant,” he growls.  

****

She frowns back into the darkness, “My...?  What the Hell are you talking about, Lucifer?”

****

He takes a half-step back, “Hell, indeed.  Pierce.  His scent is all over you.  You should go back to where you’re wanted.”  A long pause, “where you want to be.”

****

Chloe moves again.

****

“Do. Not. Turn. Around,” he snarls.  “I don’t wish to see you.  Your...face.”

****

She nods and looks down into the darkness where her feet should be.  “Alright. I brought him home from the hospital and THIS is where I want to be.  H-how did you know I’m down here?”

****

Lucifer coughs a soft laugh, “I always know when you’re nearby, Detective.”  He leans in again and she takes half a step toward the wall as his arms cage her in, “I can...feel......you.”

****

He brushes his cheek along the side of her head and she issues a shaky exhalation, “Lucifer.  Please....just talk to me,” she whispers.

****

She hears a soft rustling noise behind her and he grunts softly.  Her eyes take in dim light coming from the same direction as he nuzzles her again, “Not sure ‘talking’ is what I’d like to be doing right now, darling.”

****

The light allows her to see both his hands pressed against the wall on either side of her,  _ Where is that light coming from? _  The detective shifts against him, willing herself to stop trembling, “Lucifer,” she whispers.  “Stop.”

****

He chuckles darkly behind her ear, “Are you certain that’s what you desire, Chloe?” he purrs again then gives her ear a kittenish lick.

****

Chloe spins in his arms and shoves him back, hard.  Her gun is in her hand and pointing at his chest before she she can blink.

****

She blinks again.  “What the.......” she hisses.

****

In front of her, Lucifer stands with his hands half-raised.  A manic smile is pasted on his face, a flash of white in the darkness.  Glittering eyes catch the dim light even as his face remains in shadow.

****

Behind him, she sees the source of that dim light.  A pair of softly radiant wings are behind him.  One seems slightly ragged and damaged somehow and he holds it as if it pains him.  She shakes her head in denial as she tries to slide along the wall away from him, using the pointed gun to keep him in place.  

****

“Lucifer,” rattles out of her mouth as she struggles to keep herself upright and from hyperventilating, “You...you’re.....oh fuck....don’t...”

****

“Do it,” he whispers and leans forward just a touch.  “Oh, hold on,” he pauses and carefully reaches forward.  She watches, blinking in silent, gaping horror as he gently raises her hands so the gun is trained on his forehead.  

****

His hand dutifully returns to its place in the air near his head.  “Don’t want  you to miss, darling,” he explains then gives a half-hearted shrug. “I mean, it’s no Azrael’s Blade, but it’ll do in a pinch.”

****

Chloe’s hands shake as terror and adrenaline race each other through her system.  Tears stream down her face, “Lucifer, what are you doing?” she chokes out.

****

The manic smile remains but it’s more brittle now.  His eyes widen slightly and she can see a bit of the whites, “I’m being a good masochist, of course.”  He blinks and a single tear trickles out.  “Shoot me,” he says quietly.  “You know you want to.”

****

She sees his hands tremble oh-so-slightly.  The corners of his lips quiver as his smile falters.

****

He takes a deep breath and raises his chin, “You can even be merciful if you wish.”

****

Right between the eyes.

****

“Please.....” he whispers desperately as he closes his eyes.

****

Her finger moves in the darkness.

****

Lucifer’s eyes open wide in surprise as he hears the clip hit the ground.  He looks down then drops to his knees to retrieve it, flashing a manic grin as he tries to hand it to up her, “I believe this is yours?” 

****

She steps back, her head shaking in denial over the nightmare in front of her.  Chloe raises a hand in front of her and she steps back again, her back to the wall, “No...”

****

“Bloody Hell,” he grunts in frustration and snatches the gun from her hand, inserts the clip then hands it back to her, handle-first.  “There, problem solved.”  

****

He pats his chest and scoots closer, still on his knees.  The cajoling expression on his face gives way to a wince of pain as he gives his wings a small flap.  They don’t move much, but the overall effect of the ragged wings back-lighting Satan Himself is something she’s sure she will need a lot of therapy to get out of her mind.  “Now, come on.”  He tries to leer menacingly, “Seems you have another problem to manage here, Detective, so chop-chop.”

****

Chloe shakes her head, tears streaming down her face unchecked, “Stop,” she whispers as she tucks her gun into the back of her jeans.

****

Lucifer launches himself at her legs and grapples her, pinning her to the wall, “ _ please....help me, Chloe _ ,” he insists.  His shoulders shake as he’s wracked by a sob.  “I.....can’t DO this any more.”  

****

He looks up at her, hair a wild wreck, tears streaking his dust-smudged face, wings dragging in the dirt behind him.  “Make it stop,” he begs as his voice cracks.

****

The detective’s arms are raised over her head, trying to avoid touching him and his wings.  Her eyes are wide as she struggles to process what the actual Hell is happening right now.   _ I’m just me. What does he think I can do?  I’m not...and he’s....oh shit... _

****

“Make  _ what  _ stop?” she asks quietly.  Wide blue eyes are unfocused in the dark as she struggles to draw breath.

****

His grip on her tightens as he huddles closer, “The....yearning.  I can’t....won’t.”  Lucifer looks up from his position at her knees and meets her gaze.  He clenches his jaw, “Oh, but how I  **_want_ ** ,” he grits out as fresh tears come.  “And I am so sorry.  I tried so hard to...to be good.  So you wouldn’t....but....you have to be free.”  

****

He looks down as a breath rattles from him, “no matter what I want.”

****

Chloe frowns as she reaches down to stroke his hair.  She reaches under his chin to tilt his face toward her, “Lucifer what are you talking about?”

****

He looks down, unable to meet her gaze, “You were put here,” he mumbles.  “For me.  By my father.”  He looks up, his eyes wide, “I didn’t know, Detective, you have to believe me.  I didn’t find out until Mum told me and then...”

****

His voice trails off and he sits back on his heels, “But it was too late.  You...and....and I.....then...I had to stop it, don’t you understand?”

****

She cocks her head, fairly certain that the tightness in her chest was rage.  And she’s starting to choke on it.  “ _ What _ ?” she hisses.

****

He blinks up at her, his face earnest, “It’s why I left.  And...Candy.  I had to make you think I didn’t want...us....so you wouldn’t have those  _ feelings  _ forced on you any longer...but...”  He sags, defeated, “I couldn’t stay away.”

****

Lucifer looks up again, “I was selfish.  I thought we could still be friends.  I thought just being near you would be enough, but....”

****

Chloe growls and shoves him backward.  He lands on his rear as she steps forward to loom over him.  “You and your....fucking FATHER....you’re whole God-damned family have been MANIPULATING me!” she screams down at him.  “This.  Whole.  Fucking.  TIME.  My. Whole. Fucking. LIFE!” she snarls.

****

She steps away and begins to pace, “And I’m....what?  Supposed to be GRATEFUL that you assholes put me here?  That you introduced yourselves?”

****

He raises a finger, “Actually, that was my Father.  The putting here part, anyway”

****

“Shut. UP!”  She’s so mad she actually hops from the force of yelling at him.

****

He cringes and wisely closes his mouth.  Ragged wings close defensively on his shoulders.

****

“So, let me get this straight,” she growls as she continues to pace.  “Your father put me here.  Somehow, I don’t even  _ want  _ to know.  Then we meet and I can’t stand you.  Hated your stupid smug face, honestly.”  

****

She’s ticking off bullet points as she walks around in the dim light provided by his wings.  “I get to know you and think ‘hey, maybe you’re not such an asshole after all.’  Smart ass, definitely.  Pain in the ass, absolutely.  But maybe not  _ entirely  _ a jerk.  Plus the whole saved my life thing when Jimmy shot me.”

****

She pauses and looks down, her face softening just slightly, “Then you did it again.  Only this time, you saved Trixie, too.”

****

Lucifer swallows heavily and looks down at the dirt floor without saying a word.

****

The detective is pacing again, “And then you were all...weird.  I don’t even know what happened.”

****

He opens his mouth to respond but stops when she points at him.  “Later,” she orders.  

****

He nods and remains silent.

****

“Then we kissed and I got poisoned.  And, hey, if that was your father’s idea of a good time, he can leave me the Hell out of his party plans next time,” she snarls.  

****

She pauses then points at him again.  Several times, actually, to indicate she’s figuring something out, “Hang on.  You came to my apartment and yelled at me.  You asked if I knew.”  Her brows come down as she looks at him more closely, “Knew what?”

****

Lucifer raises his eyebrows, silently asking for permission to speak.  He continues at her nod, “That was when I found out that....that we weren’t...real.”

****

She peers at him, “‘Not real?’  What the fuck does that even mean?” she asks angrily.  She stalks over to him and looms again, “Is my anger at you right now real enough?”

****

He nods, seemingly chastened.

****

“So why do you believe THIS but not that I...” she stops and bites the inside of her cheek.  Tears come to her eyes and she chokes back a sob, “That I love you.”

****

He blinks at her, stunned.  His mouth is slack and eyes wide as he stares.  Lucifer shuffles on the ground and gains his feet, “Detec....Chloe....I’m sorry.”

****

“Sorry isn’t good enough, Lucifer,” she yells.  Her voice echoes off the bricks and he stares at her, cowed into silence.  “Just,” she chokes on a sob, “Just tell me  _ why _ .”

****

Lucifer steps forward to touch her but she steps back, rejecting his embrace.  He opts to fidget with his fingers instead and bites his lip as he looks down.

****

“I...” he begins then stops to clear his throat.  Raising his chin, he looks her in the eye.  Deep breath, “I began to have these....feelings...for you.  I, um, don’t understand them.”

****

“You’re in love with me, dumbass,” she growls.

****

He nods and looks down again, “I....believe that may be the case, yes.  But...”

****

She shakes her head, sending tears sideways into her hair, “No but.  That’s it.”

****

Lucifer frowns, “YES, but, Detective.  We...you...have been manipulated into feeling these things.  They can’t be...”

****

Blonde eyebrows go up in angry surprise, “Real?”  He nods as she continues.  “You’re a fucking idiot who knows shit about human emotions, Lucifer.”  She waves toward the sky, “You and your stupid family.  You can’t make someone feel things they weren’t going to feel anyway.  You can create situations, sure.  You can manipulate circumstances, certainly.”  

****

She points at him, “But I promise I’ve seen enough of you,” she waves at him, “before all this....trainwreck...to know what’s in my heart.”

****

She narrows her eyes and stalks over to him, jabbing her finger hard enough into his chest to shove him backward, “If you or your fucking family EVER try to manipulate me again, I will rip your balls off and send you back to Hell myself.  Do you understand me, Lucifer?”  

****

He nods, but she’s not done yet.  “That goes for Amenadiel, too.  I don’t know where he’d end up, but I’ll go after him, too.  Got it?!”

****

She growls in frustration “Shit, what about Maze?  Her, too?  Is her moving in all...?”

****

Lucifer shakes his head emphatically, “Absolutely not.  That was of  _ her  _ own free will and, for the record, she hasn’t been part of.....anything else, either.”  A small smile of surprise crosses his face, “It seems my dear Maze is finally innocent in some regard.”

****

Chloe can’t resist the chuckle as she shakes her head.  It comes out as a snort and she wipes her nose on her sleeve, “That  _ is _ hard to believe.”

****

“That’s disgusting,” Lucifer reports as she finishes wiping her nose.

****

She looks at him, eyebrows raised.  “You just called something disgusting.  You’re....like...from actual Hell.”

****

He sniffs, “Cleanliness is close to....well.....cleanliness, darling.  I’ve spent millennia around ash and filth and see no reason to suffer it a moment longer.”

****

Chloe snorts again as she gestures at his general person, “Right.  Because you’re so clean and well-pressed at the moment.”  Then she looks down at her jeans, covered in dirt and tears from The Devil Himself, “And...?”

****

Lucifer looks down at himself and nods, “Fair point.”  He gestures down the passage, in the direction opposite the way she came, “Shall we?”

****

She frowns, “Where are we going?”

****

He retrieves the flashlight from the dirt and returns it to her then folds his hands together and bows politely, “I need a shower and I’ve no doubt you could do with a drink.”  He gestures to the flashlight, “if you would?”

****

Chloe turns the flashlight on and gasps softly when Lucifer’s wings disappear, “Where did they...?”

****

Lucifer tosses a glance over his back, “Just tucked away for the time being.  They need to heal.”

****

She frowns, “What happened?”

****

He shrugs, trying to be nonchalant, “I believe  _ I _ would like a drink or four before we talk about that.”

****

Chloe nods and gestures ahead with the flashlight, “Fine.  Lead on.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe huffs a chuckle, “Oh come on. You can’t be upset that THAT is the face you’re “stuck” with, can you?”
> 
> His eyebrows go up and a corner of his mouth pulls up for a moment, “You like this face, darling?”
> 
> She actually laughs, “I’m not blind, Lucifer.”
> 
> Satan sips his drink and continues to pace, “Regardless, I can’t effectively punish people with this one. Think of yourself, trying to do your job without a gun. Could you do it?”
> 
> Chloe shrugs, “It would take some getting used to, but I would try to make it work if I had to.”
> 
> He rolls his eyes, “Of course you would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really it. I swear. 
> 
> So. Much. Dialogue. Oy.
> 
> Again, many thanks to flutterflap for the beta!

The elevator ride up to the apartment is quiet, the air between them thick with tension.  Lucifer’s eyes are closed as he stands with his feet apart at the back of the car.  Arms crossed, head slightly bowed.  If he were human, she’d think he looks exhausted.

But he’s not.   _ Satan.  Beelzebub.  Old Scratch.  The Devil.  Oh God. _

Chloe swallows heavily and watches him warily from her position near the door.  Her hand twitches as she instinctively considers her gun.

“You’re welcome to shoot me if you wish, Detective,” he says quietly.

“What...?” she asks nervously.

Dark eyes open slowly and he regards her through half-lowered lashes, “I can practically hear you thinking about it,” he explains softly.  “Understandable, really.  I accosted you once already.  What’s to say it won’t happen again?”  A black eyebrow arches, “I am The Devil.  You sure you can trust me?”

Chloe blinks as her heart begins to race.   _ Can I?   _ Her breath grows short and rapid as her hand twitches again.  “You can read minds?” she hisses.

Satan remains silent as the elevator comes to a stop.  The ‘ding’ before the doors open is almost comical as the detective takes a shaky step backward into the apartment, never turning from him.

Lucifer steps out and immediately walks to the bar where he pours two glasses of scotch.  He tosses his back and fills his glass again before walking into the living area.  He’s careful to remain several feet from her, offering his own back in case she’s feeling a little trigger-happy.  He turns when he hears her place her gun on the bar then cocks his head when she walks away from it.

Chloe takes a long pull from her drink and narrows her eyes at him, “No, you can’t.” She answers her own question.  “You told me when we first started working together that you can’t.”  She cocks her head, “And you don’t lie, right?”   _ Right? _

He flashes a rueful grin, “If I were a liar, Detective, I could simply lie and tell you I don’t.  Or, if I don’t lie, I could tell you the truth that I don’t.”  He shrugs, “Ultimately, the true question at hand is whether or not you trust me.”  

Lucifer sips his scotch, “But for the record, no.  I do not lie.  I have enough nonsense to keep track of without trying to recall what I’ve said to whom.  The truth is always easier.”

He gives her a long look, “You were trying to break into my building.  Why?”

She shrugs, “I told you.  I was worried about you.  You haven’t called.  The club is locked down.  You haven’t even left the building.”

Ghost of a smile crosses his lips and is quickly gone, “You’ve been watching me?”

Chloe nods, “You’re my partner, Lucifer.  And my...friend.  So, yeah.  I was worried and watching you.”  She blinks at him.   _ Still worried, actually. _

The Devil scoffs and sips his drink, “I’m fine.”

The detective snorts, “Right.  Sure.  NOW you’re a liar.”  She walks toward him slowly, as if approaching an injured animal.  His dark eyes watch as she takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, “You’re not fine, Lucifer.”

Lucifer tugs his hand away and steps back from her, “I simply wish to be left alone.  Can you not understand?”

Chloe shrugs again, “Sure.  I can understand.  I also understand that if what you truly desire is to be left alone, you’d have sent me home instead of bringing me up here.”

He notices her last sip has drained her glass, so he takes it and walks silently back to the bar for a refill.  

She follows, noting his stiff posture and allowing him to keep the bar between them as a barrier.  “Talk,” she commands when he hands her a fresh drink.

Lucifer frowns, “There’s nothing to say.”

Another sip then she raises her glass, index finger pointing at him, “Still lying.”

His face darkens and he puts his glass down.  Long fingers stretch around it as he ponders the play of light on the amber liquid.

In the quiet, deceptively soothing low light of the apartment, the detective can hear her instincts fairly screaming at her.   _ This is bullshit and you know it, Decker.  Been here, done this.  Not again.  Doesn’t matter who it is. _

The silence stretches until Chloe growls in frustration and slams her glass on the bar, “STOP manipulating me!”  

Dark eyebrows raise as he stands up straight, “I am  _ not _ ...”

“Oh shut up!” she yells at him.  “You ARE.  You’re not talking, which leaves me to figure this shit out on my own.  And it’s all pretty damned convenient for you because then you aren’t responsible for what I come up with when it’s wrong.”  

She walks around the bar and jabs him hard in the chest, “I’ve got news for you, it’s _always_ wrong.”

Outrage darkens his face, “That’s my Father’s game, Detective.  The whole bloody silent treatment.  Why are you yelling at me simply because I don’t know where to begin?”

Chloe throws her hands up in frustration, “At least tell me THAT much!  Christ knows I’ve listened to you bitch and whine about how your Father never talks to you.  Maybe don’t do that yourself?”

“There is no need to bring half my family into this...” he starts.

She steps into his personal space and glares up at him, “FUCK your family, Lucifer.”  She grabs her phone out of her pocket, “You know what?  Fuck you, too.  I’m done with this crap.”  She starts pushing buttons on her phone as she stalks to the elevator.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“I’m calling an Uber to take me to my car.  Then I’m going home to start forgetting I ever met you,” she snarls as she engages the app on her phone.

A large, warm hand covers hers, “Don’t.  Please,” he whispers urgently.  

She looks up into the raw agony of his chocolate-brown eyes and blinks.  “Give me a reason,” she says breathlessly.

Lucifer’s eyes flick to her mouth then he slowly leans down, giving her the opportunity to back away but she simply watches as he gets closer.

His lips are soft and warm on hers and her eyes flutter closed as she feels his fingertips delicately touch her cheek.  The kiss is careful at first.  Oh so gentle.  His tongue ventures out to taste her lips.  It’s more of a question, really.   _ Please? _

Lucifer can’t help the sigh that escapes him when she opens her mouth in a guarded response.  He feels her shiver and moves his body closer.  The hand at her cheek cups her jaw while his other arm reaches around her waist to hold her carefully.  His heart leaps in his chest when her arms reach for him as well.

Still gentle, he deepens the kiss, hoping action will serve to explain his feelings for her while words are difficult and seem insufficient.  Luckily, he has some skill in this area.

Chloe opens her mouth a little more as the kiss grows more passionate.  She feels him growing warmer and instinctively leans into his heat.  His tongue expertly dances with hers as it explores her mouth.  Thoroughly tasting her and he softly groans his appreciation of her patience.

Turnabout being fair play, she returns the favor.  She follows as his tongue retreats, tasting him in turn.  Where his intention was to relay a complexity of feeling he doesn’t yet understand, she has a point to make.  She grunts softly as she moves her hands to the front of his shirt and pulls him closer.

She nips his lip to remind him she’s not to be trifled with.  She can handle him, and she will if necessary.   _ Don’t do it again.   _ As their tongues dance in his mouth, he realizes exactly what being ‘partners’ is really about.

Give and take.

Balance.

Acceptance.

Slowly and reluctantly, they pull away, breathing heavily.  Lucifer closes his eyes and rests his forehead against hers, “I’m sorry,” he whispers across her mouth.

Chloe pats his chest and nods, “I know.  Breaking a cycle is hard.”  She wraps her arms around his torso and rests her head against him.  

He takes a deep breath and slowly, awkwardly lets his arms drape over her shoulders.

The detective feels him shudder and gives him a squeeze.  She wets her lips and smiles as she tastes him again.

Lucifer takes another deep breath, “I don’t know where to start, Detective,” he says quietly.  His grip on her tightens and he nuzzles her hair.  “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Start small,” Chloe encourages.  “Maybe with something I already know.”

He huffs and looks at the ceiling, as if the answer is up there.  Small shrug, “I don’t know.  Um.....I......enjoy working with you?”

“See?” comes the answer from his chest.  “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“I suppose not, but...what’s the purpose of telling you something you already know?” he asks.

“It will help you get comfortable talking about things you feel.  Might make it easier once you get to the stuff I  _ don’t _ already know,” she explains.

His eyes narrow as he draws back and looks down at her, “Have you been speaking to Dr. Linda?” he asks.

Chloe shakes her head, “No.  Just my experience.”

“Hmph,” he responds as he draws her close again.  “Very well.  How about something you likely already know but I’ve not said before?”

She smiles against him as she notices his heart-rate pick up under her ear, “Go for it.”

He gives her another squeeze, “I.....I believe I might like this as well,” he murmurs.

Chloe nods, “I like it, too.”  She releases him and steps back, taking his hand again as she looks up.  “But....we do have to talk.”

Lucifer nods and drops her hands.  He ponders his cuffs as he returns to the bar for another round, “I know.  All...this...” he waves his hand, “...is unfair to you otherwise.”

She arches a blonde brow at him and he bobs his head, “Okay, it’s unfair to you in  _ all  _ cases.”  He pours, “does it help at all that I truly didn’t know?  Until recently, that is?”  He hands her a drink and she looks at him.  

“And by that time...what?  It was too late?” she asks.  “So you decided not to say anything at all?”

He gives her a sharp look, eyes wide, “I  _ tried  _ to show you!  I’ve been  _ telling  _ you.”  He growls in frustration, “What the bloody Hell else was I to do?”

She frowns at him, “What did you try to show me?  You have wings!  I didn’t see them.”

“No,” he insists.  “That wasn’t what I tried to show you.  It was....it was my face.”

She blinks, “Your face?”

Lucifer nods, “Yes.  My true face.”  He gestures at his visage, “Not the handsome facade you see before you.”

Chloe blinks again, “I don’t understand.”

Lucifer closes his eyes and releases a long breath.  “When I was Devil-napped.  I...awoke in the desert with...” he thumbs toward his back, “those.  I didn’t realize at the time but my face....my Devil face....was gone as well.”

She nods, valiantly trying to understand.  “Okay....what does it...um...look like?”

He pauses for a moment as he looks at her, “Well, it’s...you humans find it quite terrifying, actually.”

“Hmmm,” she responds thoughtfully.  “That’s awfully vague.  What’s it look like, Lucifer?” she asks again.

The Devil frowns and begins to pace, “Like I’ve been flayed alive.”

Chloe looks at him, eyes wide, “Oh...”

He stops her with a look.  “I suppose the fact of the matter is that I truly was.  When I....” he looks away.  “When I Fell,” he finishes softly.

The detective walks to the couch and sits down hard before taking a long pull from her scotch glass.  “It’s all real,” she whispers as her hand covers her mouth.  

She looks at him, blue eyes still wide, “All that....that Bible stuff.  The... _ you _ and God and the Garden of Eden and the Flood and plagues and stuff.  It’s all....true.”  She polishes off her drink.

Lucifer walks to the bar to retrieve the bottle.  He quietly approaches and refills her drink, then does the same for his own glass as he moves to sit a respectful distance away.  “In a ‘big picture’ sort of way, yes.  I’m afraid so, Detective,” he responds.

He sighs, “So, not only have my wings been forced upon me without my consent, my Face is gone.  I believe this Sinnerman is behind it all, but I haven’t found him yet.”

He stands and begins to pace again.  “I was going to show you my Face.  I didn’t know I’m stuck with... _ this _ .” he points at himself again, “until I tried in the station.”

Chloe huffs a chuckle, “Oh come on.  You can’t be upset that  _ that  _ is the face you’re “stuck” with, can you?”

His eyebrows go up and a corner of his mouth pulls up for a moment, “You  _ like  _ this face, darling?”

She actually laughs, “I’m not  _ blind _ , Lucifer.”

Satan sips his drink and continues to pace, “Regardless, I can’t effectively punish people with this one.  Think of yourself, trying to do your job without a gun.  Could you do it?”

Chloe shrugs, “It would take some getting used to, but I would try to make it work if I had to.”

He rolls his eyes, “Of course you would.”

“What the Hell is that supposed to mean?” she asks.

He gestures at her, “Just that you humans have proven yourselves to be marvels of adaptation.  You just....roll with the situations you find yourselves in and proceed from there.”

The detective’s face screws up in confusion, “And that’s a problem....how?”

Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes, “You don’t understand.”  His response is tight and sharp.  “Celestials aren’t meant to change at all.  To adapt.  We are immutable.”  He shrugs as his hand comes down, “Constant.  Or, we were intended to be.”

Chloe stands and looks up at him, “But...you aren’t,” she says.  “I’ve seen you.  Even in the short time I’ve known you, Lucifer, you’ve changed.”

He nods slowly then turns his gaze to her, “I have.  Because of you...” His voice trails off in wonder as he continues to stare.

She shuffles uncomfortably, “Could you.....not....do that?”

Lucifer shakes his head, “Apologies, darling,” he murmurs then looks away.  “Amenadiel has changed as well,” he reports.

The detective cocks her head, “what’s he done differently?”

He snorts, “Well, first off, he had sex.”  He snickers at her incredulous look, “Trust me, Detective, The 40-Year-Old Virgin had nothing on my brother.”

Chloe blinks at him then starts to laugh.  After a long minute, she doesn’t stop.  After another minute, she’s gasping for air and Lucifer looks worried.

“Detective?” he asks as he approaches cautiously.  “Are you ill?”

She laughs harder.

He casts about, trying to recall if he’s ever heard of a human laughing themselves to death (outside that late 80’s Batman movie, anyway) because judging from the redness of his Detective’s face, she was well on her way.  “Chloe...?”

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around her stomach as she doubles over.

Lucifer leans forward, trying to discern the problem, when she snorts in his ear.  “Bloody Hell,” he exclaims as he backs away.  “Detective, have you been poisoned again?”

Chloe waves him off, still shaking her head.  She then raises her hand in a universal ‘hold on a minute’ gesture and seems in the middle of trying to catch her breath.  One hand rubs her ribcage as the guffaws seem to subside.  The other hand wipes tears from her eyes.

He leans back and watches in complete confusion as she returns to herself.  “Darling, are you quite alright?”

She nods but still says nothing.  Weak chuckles continue to come but more sporadically, allowing her to breathe.  “This is so fucked up,” she proclaims breathlessly.

Lucifer gives her a quizzical look, eyebrows up and head tilted to the side.  “Do tell?”

Chloe points at him, “Well...YOU, first of all.  I mean, seriously.  The only person I can get to be my partner on the force is Satan.”  She coughs a laugh, “Then the only person I can get to be my roommate is a demon - Maze  _ is _ a really demon, right?” she asks.

He nods affirmatively.

She throws her hand up, “See?!”  The detective paces in front of the sectional, “And to top it all off, as if all that other stuff isn’t strange enough, I am clearly so messed up after my divorce, I go and fall in fucking love with The Devil.  WHO!  By the way, JUST tried to kill himself with  **_me_ ** holding the gun.”  

Her hand comes up to cover her eyes while she shakes her head.  “Just...fuck my life.”  She turns her back and walks to the balcony, leaving a very confused Devil in her wake.

Lucifer grabs the bottle and follows behind, uncertain how to approach his distraught detective.

_ Should I....touch her?  Maybe her shoulder?  She might hit me if I touch her.   _ He shrugs,  _ That’s okay.  Maybe she needs to do that.  Humans seem fond of that whole...”hugging” business.  That? _  His eyebrows go up as he assesses her posture.   _ Likely not a good idea to get that close just yet. _

_ But I can’t do  _ **_nothing_ ** _.   _ He taps his bottom lip with his index finger as he watches her.  Her shoulders shake a little.   _ Bloody Hell, she’s crying _ .

He casts about, as if the answer to his dilemma is somewhere around him.   _ None of this is any help _ , he thinks in frustration.

Dark brows come down as he watches her wrap her arms around herself.  His chest aches and there’s an odd stinging sensation in the back of his eyes.   _This won’t do at all,_ he decides as he sets the bottle of scotch down.

Lucifer approaches her slowly, “Darling?” he says quietly.  A soft hiccup is the only response and he clenches his jaw.   _ Nothing for it then. _

He steps forward and rests a light hand on her back, between her shoulderblades.  Just fingertips, really.  “I’m sorry  _ again _ ?”  He asks hopefully.

Chloe glares up at him, her eyes are made an even brighter blue by her tears, “And you know the worst part of all this?” she hisses.  Clear mucus runs down from her nose and mascara streaks to her jawline, “Is that you don’t believe how I feel about you, and how you feel about me, is real.”

_ Getting shot would have been easier than this _ , he thinks as the ache in his chest grows.  Lucifer opens his mouth, gulping air in a desperate attempt to ease the tightness.   _ Bollocks _ .

“I so want it to be,” he whispers desperately.  

“Chloe,” he pants as the pain grows, “ _ please _ .”  The stinging in his eyes begins to dissipate but he realizes that’s only because of the tears that started leaking out.  “In all my time....I need you to understand.....I’ve never had cause to....to trust.”  He gulps again.

She looks down at her feet and is silent for a long moment.  When she looks up again, the tears have stopped and her lip is caught between her teeth.

Lucifer can scarcely hear a thing over the roaring heartbeat in his ears.  Breathing is difficult around the lump in his throat.

Chloe nods, “You don’t trust your father?”

He takes a deep breath, “No.”  It’s a soft growl.

She nods again then looks up at him, “You don’t trust yourself.”  It’s not a question, so he feels no compulsion to give her an answer she already knows.

Chloe reaches for his hand and places it over her heart.  She holds it in place and takes a deep breath.  “Trust  _ me _ ,” she commands.  “Trust that I know what I’m feeling and I’m not going to play games with you.”

He nods, unsure of what else to say or do.

“You frighten me,” she says quietly.

He opens his mouth to assure her but she waves him off, “No, not the whole “Devil” thing.  But how much I feel with you.  It’s overwhelming.  I don’t like feeling that I have no control over it.”

Lucifer’s eyes widen, “I know what that’s like,” he says quietly.  He looks at her closely, “But certainly you have experience with this sort of thing.  You’ve....felt this before, yes?”

She shakes her head, “No.”

He peers at her, “But your ex.  Daniel.  You were married.  Certainly...”

Chloe shakes her head again, “It wasn’t like....this.  That was...” she shrugs, “comfortable.”

Lucifer scoffs, “This is decidedly UNcomfortable.”

She laughs, “Right?”  The detective pauses then gives his hand a squeeze, “Look, the point is that this is new for both of us.  It doesn’t matter that you’re...you.  Right now, you’re just a guy and I’m just a girl...”

“Falling in love,” he finishes for her.

The smile on her face brightens the entire balcony and The Devil decides he would do a great many things to see that smile again.  “Yeah.”

Lucifer draws her forward and wraps his arms around her again.  It’s not awkward this time and she snuggles against his warmth.  “What now?” he asks the top of her head.

Her shoulders shrug inside the circle of his arms, “I don’t know.  What do you want?”

He leans back enough to look down at her, tilting her face up.  His thumb strokes her cheekbone as he gazes down at her in wonder.  “You,” he says quietly.

Chloe smiles as her hands reach up to pull him closer, “What a coincidence,” she murmurs before covering his mouth with hers.


End file.
